By Cheryl Z.
Why do women fake orgasms?
We all know they do it, and according to Cosmopolitan’s survey, 50% of women do it regularly.
Most women say they don’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings. Society puts so much pressure on men to please women during sex, that women sometimes feel like it’s their role to properly appreciate his effort. There are other times when women just know they’re not going to climax, and they’re hoping to save their partner the trouble (and the work). Other women might want to moan and fake the “O” just so the sex will end sooner.
An article found on Modernman.com stated: “A national sex study by Indiana University shows that while 85 percent of men say their last sexual partner had an orgasm, only 64 percent of women said they climaxed the last time they had sex.”
While this does not necessarily mean that 21 percent of women are faking, it may indicate that guys are believing the fake orgasms. Even though there have been situations when men have faked orgasms, society seems to target women because they do it the most.
So to help the guys out, here are some tips from a woman’s post from articles “How To Tell If She’s Faking It” on Modern Man and “Sex Tips” from Askmen.com on how to tell if she’s really bringing it home for the win.
She’s busy kissing you
Kissing and nuzzling during foreplay? Good. Kissing and nuzzling while she’s trying to maintain a perfect 45-degree angle with your crotch? Hard to do. If your partner bats you away when you’re trying to kiss her, don’t be offended. She’s just trying to peak.
Her face looks pretty
If you saw a snapshot of yourself while your hand and penis were fighting, you would probably look like you’re either being murdered or about to cry. The sad thing is we all look like we’re in pain when reaching an orgasm, so her expression should look like she just broke her leg, not like she’s smiling for a Facebook profile photo.
Her skin feels soft and smooth
When a woman reaches an orgasm, her heart rate and blood pressure spike and sweating is almost unavoidable. The small of her back should feel clammy, and she might even get a little sex flush (where the skin reddens or turns a pinkish color and caused by increased blood flow to the surface of the skin. This happens to about 50 to 75 percent of women). Since even the most dedicated in-bed actress can’t make her body do these things, congratulate yourself if you notice any of these signs.
She climaxed during doggy style
A woman having an orgasm doggy-style is equivalent to a man reaching orgasm from a hand job. Totally possible, but it takes mad skill. If there wasn’t a helping hand involved, be wary of a woman who finished on all fours. Women are more likely to orgasm when clitoral stimulation is involved. The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) is something worth Googling.
So here’s to safe sex, consensual sex, and not faking it. Keep in mind ladies, you’re missing out if you’re faking during.
Have you ever faked an orgasm? Why?
Sources:
How To Tell If She's Faking It
The Signs
Don't Fake It Day
The tips to tell if a woman is faking an orgasm are hilarious and really good tips for any doubtful partners out there. I know that there are many women who are not even capable of having an orgasm. The percentage of sexual dysfunction is far greater for women than it is for men. Maybe some of the women who are faking orgasms aren't actually able to climax and are just concerned about pleasing their partner. I know that sex is most generally about pleasure, but I think sometimes people forget that another large part of sex is pleasing your partner. So, for some, maybe faking an orgasm isn't all that bad?
ReplyDeletePersonally, I have not faked an orgasm.
-Louise S.
Louise,
DeleteI agree completely! Sometimes it might be beneficial to both people to fake an orgasm. Although society tends to frown upon faking, women (think porn stars) do it all the time. I do feel bad for those who are unable to climax, though. Sex can still be a rewarding experience even if a woman isn't pleasured in a orgasmic sense.
You listed reasons for faking orgasm as societal pressures on men to perform well and women to play their role of satisfied partner; not hurting the male partner's feelings; and trying to end sex sooner. I'm not sure, exactly, how discouraging women from faking orgasm by telling men how to spot it actually addresses any of these points. Do you think the pressure to discourage women from faking will work backwards and fight against the pressure to play the role of appreciative partner?
ReplyDeleteJoey,
DeleteThe points listed in the beginning merely function as an introduction to the idea of faking an orgasm. The purpose of the post was to help give pointers to what a real orgasm looks like. I don't think that these points will backfire and cause women to fake even more, only because some of these situations are not easily recreated.
You do make a good point about how the title doesn't correlate well with the points in the post, though. I will change that - Thanks!
I have to agree with Joey. How is noticing a fake orgasm going to help men about this issue? I feel that being able to see through a fake orgasm is going to pressure men even more in that they need to try harder to please their female partners. But women have a harder time reaching orgasm then men do and faking an orgasm doesn't equate to females not enjoying the sex. Perhaps a fake orgasm is a woman's way to give their male partners pleasure and satisfaction because they don't want their male partners to hold back to the point of it being painful.
ReplyDelete-Myung C.
Myung,
ReplyDeleteI was hoping that helping men recognize fake orgasms would encourage positive communication between his partner, almost like its forcing the couple to talk about it. Like my response to Louise's post, faking an orgasm doesn't necessarily mean the woman is not enjoying sex, or being pleasured.
Why do you think that women have a harder time reaching an orgasm than men?
Looking back on the sex I've had in different relationships, I get the feeling that people may be looking at only one side of faking an orgasm. In Relationship A, I faked a lot of orgasms because of some of the reasons listen above (I wanted the sex to end or I didn't want my partner to feel bad.) Relationship B had sex that was a lot more stimulating, emotionally and physically. Even though I usually have a lot of trouble reaching orgasm during sex, that doesn't bother me very much because I'm one of those "it's more about the journey than the destination" type people. As long as it's fun and loving, I'm happy. So in Relationship B, when I reached what I like to call me "emotional climax" I sometimes would "fake" the orgasm to let my partner know that I was satisfied and wanted to start winding down. But I don't really think of it as faking anything, so much as making my happiness and satisfaction externally apparent. Not to mention, in Relationship B I also don't feel the pressure to fake an orgasm if I lose interest in the middle of sex because I know my partner won't be offended. I think the whole issue of faking orgasms is just part of the whole "bad communication in relationships" problem. So I'm wondering how sex would be different if people communicated better. Would women fake less orgasms or, at the very least, have more relationships like my Relationship B?
ReplyDelete-Rachael L
I think it's interesting that, as noted above, women sometimes fake orgasm for the sake of their partner's ego or well-being. While this can be viewed as a courteous, positive thing to do, it should also be observed from the opposite perspective. If a female fakes an orgasm to protect her partner's feelings, then she is not experiencing the complete sexual cycle, and thus may be receiving less of a benefit from having sex. While she is protecting the emotions of her partner, she is also compromising her own feelings. Shouldn't the male be expected to look out for the emotions of his female partner, as she is expected to look out for his?
ReplyDeleteOf course communication plays a major role in this issue, and the first step for any couple having sex is to talk. If a couple is engaging in sex, then it's most likely a good idea that they feel comfortable discussing their sex with each other.
-Colin K.