Ridge W.
Given our recent class discussions about pornography and this blogs focus on sex in relationships I deemed it appropriate to talk about the intersection of the two. For many people, pornography is something that only certain people outside of relationships watch or enjoy. I wanted to find out whether this is actually the case, and what affect porn has, whether present or absent, on relationships in general.
To gather a sense of how most people perceive the effects of porn in relationships, I did a quick google search and was astonished to notice that the first five responses thought that porn was essentially single-handedly ruining relationships. They had titles such as “Does porn hurt your relationship?”, “A pornography habit destroys relationships” and “Men’s porn use linked to unhappy relationships”. Before delving into why there is such a stigma against porn use in a relationship, I should ask “why are people watching porn in the first place?” and “how does watching porn affect a relationship?”
Perhaps the most basic reason for watching porn is for sexual release, which may have evolutionary roots.
As Joshua Scott argues, “Pornography solves a primal problem for men: It offers easy access to commitment-free sex with multiple partners. Throughout human evolution, a man's reproductive success increased if he inseminated as many women as possible—ideally those who were young and beautiful, since both qualities signaled fertility and health.” In other words, if men traditionally and evolutionarily have had a stronger drive to have multiple partners than women, pornography could be used as a sort of compromise between the evolutionary urges and societal influence. Obviously every has their own reasons for watching porn, and most men, I imagine, don’t consciously do it to satisfy their subconscious evolutionary urges, but why does this cause a problem in relationships? And does it matter whether the relationship is between a heterosexual or homosexual couple? Does the gender of the offender matter? Is it pornography itself that is supposedly ruining relationships, or is it specifically masturbation? I cannot hope to answer all this questions at once, but I thought I would at least propose them to provoke some thought.
Although I would be very interested in finding out how the impact pornography use in homosexual relationships differs from that in heterosexual ones, if it does at all, I could find very little on the issue, and as a result will focus mainly one the impact it has, supposedly, on heterosexual couples. Some studies suggest that women with partners who watch more porn are less happy because it leads to feelings of self-doubt or self-consciousness, they feel that they aren’t good enough for their partner, otherwise he would not have to watch porn. However, I would argue that this is not always the case, based on what Scott argued earlier (i.e. the evolutionary drive behind watching porn).
Perhaps there’s more to it than just that, however. Some argue that pornography is ruining relationships because of its derogatory nature towards women, and because it increases violence and sexual violence. One New York Times article sites a survey of the top 50 rented porn movies, in which it was found that physical aggression occurred in 88% of the films, and verbal abuse towards women occurred in 48%. Although the article describes the survey as extensive, I would argue that it is not fair to base the content of all, or even most porn, on the top 50 most rented porn movies. Even if that is the case, however, is it fair to assume that porn containing physical aggression increases the likely hood of the viewer then causing physical or sexual violence in real life?
I would also argue that watching pornography in most cases is a harmless act, and can even be beneficial to relationships. For instance, if one partner is much more sexually driven, he or she can use porn and masturbation as a form of sexual release, without pressuring his or her partner into unwanted sexual acts. Furthermore, it can provide an outlet for certain fetishes that one partner in the relationship may not wish to become involved in. I believe that the vast diversity of the pornographic world allows porn to be used in a variety of ways and for numerous purposes, and that it is therefore unfair to presume that pornography as a whole is ruining relationships. What do you think?
I definitely agree with you that it's unfair to assume that pornography as a whole is ruining relationships. I feel like a lot of the studies done regarding porn and relationships is also done in heterosexual couples. So, like you mention, I wonder what the results would be if a study was done on the effects of porn in a homosexual relationship...
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think that men watch more porn then women because most generally it is a form a sexual release. In class, when we talked about orgasms I think we at least touched on the fact that when men have an orgasm their brain is more associated with visual stimulation. And then when women had an orgasm their brains were more associated with memory. So, in a really general sense, it makes sense to me why men watch porn. Obviously, I know very little on this subject and so I'm just thinking about it more biologically.
In my experience with relationships (heterosexual), my partners have admitted to watching or viewing pornographic material, but they also stated that they "didn't need to watch porn while being in a relationship". Obviously, this is just my experience and I'm sure there's a lot of room for questioning that answer...but I've gotten that response from my partner multiple times. And so, the fact that if I was in a relationship, I wouldn't get angry or upset or judge my partner for viewing sex. But I also think that women deal with a lot of self-esteem issues (no thanks to the media, and porn is a form of media) and so I think that the idea of porn presenting a negative outlook or representation of women is understandable. However, honestly I've seen very little porn in my life. Not that I see anything wrong with it. I just haven't viewed enough to really make any assumptions of my own.
I find it interesting that the prevalent information we have on this subject is about men in relationshps watching porn and ruining their relationships. Are we suppose to assume then that men think women in relationships watching porn is a "turn on"? I feel that men will have the same reactions of self-consciousness as women if their partners were watching porn within the relationship. We need more research done on women in relationships viewing porn and its effect because as of now, research is just making it seem like porn only has a bad effect on a relationship if it's in the hands of the man.
ReplyDeleteI recently read about a study that attempted to research the psychological effects of porn. It took two different groups of people (men and women both) and one group was exposed to X-rated standard porn for an hour each week for 6 weeks. The other group was simply exposed to sexualized scenes in movies and on TV. After the 6 weeks, all participants took a survey. The results showed that those exposed to the X-rated porn had lesser appreciation for and attraction to their intimate partners. Surprisingly, the results did not differ between gender. I guess the reason I bring this up is because I feel like the field of research regarding pornography is lacking a lot of information regarding the psychological effects as a whole. This being said, I think it is important to gather more information about the long term psychological effects (rather than behavioral) before we begin to evaluate the difference between men and women. However, it is also very clear that many studies are based on the assumption that pornography has negative effects. This attitude will never allow for a complete understanding regarding pornography and its effects.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the statement that pornography is not necessarily bad in relationships, however I can see how it may be harmful and i believe that it is all in the individual situation and how the individual uses and perceves the porn.
ReplyDeleteOne of my biggest issues with porn is that it is not entirely realistic and it may influence the way in which women view themselves. I feel like women porn stars especially do not realistically represent the greater population in their appearance and the way in which they act during intercourse. The majority of these women are have small waists, flat stomachs, big boobs, almost flawless skin and groomed attractive vaginas. Also women who are outside of this norm are fetished such as larger women and women of different more exotic races. During intercourse these women are very vocal and seem to be very easily aroused. I know for a fact when i first started having sex i believed it was more "sexy" if i was very vocal and dramatic even if it did not match the way in which my body was reacting (one of my boyfriends pointed out this was actually quite ridiculous).
i also believe the increase of physical and mental abuse particularly toward women in pornography is definitely an issue. My main concern about this is the fact that it is considered acceptable and it is so common. My only hope is that this is not carried into personal relationships and this is another case in which porn does not realistically represent the larger population.
Despite this i believe pornography, if used correctly, may even be positive in relationships. I agree with Ridges points about porn as a way of sexual release and fetish films. In addition to these reasons i believe porn can help a couple discover different aspects of their sexuality and help them try new and possibly pleasing things. What if two consenting adults in a relationship want to try something new with their sex life? Porn can be used as a sort of informational for a couple exploring their sexuality, as long as it is done in a healthy and consenting way.
Indigo M
Although I have never personally watched porn, I agree that ut can be a release for many men and women. I also think that Indigo makes a valid point: porn can be useful in exploring sexuality. If a man or woman liked porn, it might be useful for their partner to also engage in viewing erotica together. This gives them a hobby to participate in, and a gateway into discussion on personal sexual preferences. By watching porn, couples can determine possible sexual fantasies and preferences of each other.
ReplyDeleteI think that guys know that the porn stars are not an accurate representation of women. Obviously, there is much more to a relationship than sex, and much more to a woman than her boobs or her ability to have sex. Relationships are also based on emotional connection and communication. Occasional porn watching should not ruin a relationship if communication is open, and women are confident in their body, spirit, and mind. Which, as Louise pointed out, is very difficult with all of the negative media.
-Katherine S.